Kaen Ramsay
belief systems: limitations - is it thoughts, opinions, world views,
be;ief and knowledge
I cant dance to save my life --- life and death situation and you have to jump into the cliff... the jumping of the child into the fathers arms.
find the truth and the truth will set you free
the elephant - why doesnt it break free in the circus - the horse - break in - belief that it cannot do it.
desire to change our state from
current state => desired state
first we have to recognize that we have a problem
then realise that you must be the change
recognize and realise
1 belief systems
2 thought and state
3 conversation
4 values
Action or Activating beliefs or information system
Beliefs and where they come from - the background of the person
the results or outcomes of the beliefs or actions resulting from those beliefs
How people change
circumstantial -
Do they want to change their circumstances
state change - want to be happy, or content, fulfilled
physical habits effect emotions
Why people want to change
Do they want to be happy or fulfilled
Psychological change
Behaviour development
Character development
They need
Maturity,
Strength
Decisiveness
Consistency
Taking full responsibility of our life
experience leads to learning or believing our potential or lack of it and that leads to prediction that we may or may not be able to do. These experiences are used in be judgemental and opinionated or causal relationship which means that some prediction is caused by an old experience or experiences. Identity misconceptions: dyslexic, slow learner, retarded, physically unfit.
If we make form for enquiries:
What do you think is your present state of affairs?
What are the things you would like to change? At least 5
What is your ideal situation?
What are the things you desire? At least 5
What are the things you need to fulfill your desires? At least 5
Thinking with your head, heart and gut
Map of mental complexity
CW graves
Autistic thinking (basic needs)
Tribal thinking (tradition)
Heroic (self expression)
Absolutistic (martyrdom)
Individualistic (manipulative)
Humanistic (Relatedness)
Systematic (sustainability)
Holistic (acceptance and faith)
Inductive thinking expanding
Deductive reducing
Emotional reasoning
Personalization
Generalisation
Black and white
Deletions
Right and wrong
Finger pointing
Self and social labels
Belief modification:
ABC
Activating Event
Belief / perception
Consequence
Once we genuinely want to understand situations and people we start looking T things from a different perspective. We start understanding things differently.
Beliefs can be limiting. There is a need to expand horizons.
Question yourself
Doubt your beliefs
Don't let negative beliefs limit
The belief modification process
Current belief can change when in doubt, then after doubts you're ready to expand your thought process. You can trust other beliefs. You're open to believe others.
The structure of scientific revolution
Thomas Kuhn 1962
Nirmal science
Model drift
Model crisis
Model revolution
Paradigm shift
Stretch goals?
Sigmund Freud's theory of a person being an ice berg.
Thoughts and perceptions - concious
Memory and stored knowledge - sub concious
Fear, desires, urges, motives, passions, needs, beliefs - unconscious
Is it ok to be different from everyone else?
Doing your best vs being your best
What is better?
Doing your best means you try everything you think you can and finish your job. This may also mean not finishing the job, but you can still say you did you best. Being your best means being the best person you can be and finishing the job come what may.
Core identity
At the core- who ? Does this confirm with Simon senek who model of companies?
Second layer - how
Third and last layer - what? This is what can be seen
Stages of personal development by Morris Massey
0-7 imprint period
7-14 modelling
14-21 socializing
21 - self actualization
The good enough principal
Am I good enough for you or for the world or for me.
Are you a positive change bringer or a negative one
Conversational change
The Milton model - Milton h. Ericson
The meta model
The sleight of mouth
Quantum linguistics
Roadblocks to clear communication
People skills 1986 - Robert Bolton
1. Judging - forming an opinion about someone based upon our agreements and disagreements.
a) Criticising - condemning, belittling, reprimand
b) Name calling - defining by behaviour
c) Diagnosing - Assumption disinterest
d) Praising evaluatively - brown nosing
86. Roadblocks to communication
Doctors will give you anxiety medication
Psychologists will try to evaluate but may conclude the same
You need to find out where you stand and what keeps you anxious
People may try to Brown nose other people to be in their good books. They try to take interest in other people's lives so the other person will think favorably about them.
87-88
2. Sending solutions
a) ordering.-, instructing, commanding
b) threatening - (manipulating through fear)
c) moralising - the right thing to do
d) excessive questioning - yes/no pigeon trailing
e) Advising - I know better than you
89 Road blocks to communication 5
Avoiding another's concerns
Distracting another with irrelevant statement
Diverting - avoid responsibility and discomfort
Logical arguments - dismissiveness
The community is like a barn analogy - you can sweep the barn clean but as soon as the animals come in they will bring in dung.
90 Road blocks - part 6
The risk of being NLP practitioner is someone may make you father figure and really look up to you but not really listen to you and not takes you seriously.
Always trying to be right although they may be wrong or even if they are right they are putting their relationship at risk.
Psychoanalysing -=
Guru-ism
Weird ness
Gobble de gook
Fluff
Up trance and down trance
Excite, inspire and motivate with both
These are ways of talking either fast and excitedly or slow and saying each word with a focus. You could either so one or a mix of both
Quantum linguistics
Pre supposition
Recognise assumptions in speech
Limiting beliefs
Maps to give you an idea, but you need to see ground reality
Hierarchy of ideas
Chunking up for motive
Chunk down for specifics
Cartesian coordinates
To give directions to ideas by language
To create new neutral pathways
Cartesian coordinates lectures
Opinion or question about line of action.
E.g.
# Converse: The fear of rejection before you ask permission. Believing something will go wrong even before you start it.
What wouldn't happen?
# Theorem: what would happen?
# Non mirror image reverse : what wouldn't happen if I don't do this?
# Inverse: what would happen if you don't?
Common ground agreement frames
Visual: I get the picture - is a lot clearer now - I see what you mean
Auditory: I hear you - it sounds right - how does it sound to you
Kinesthetic: does this feel right? - this moves me - this feels ok
Feb 28 watch later Common ground agreement frames
Meta model - Tokyo drift
Questions to be asked so that we can understand the state we are in and what needs to take us to the desired state.
Beyond boundaries - reframing concepts
Big problems and small problems and trivial problems. How do you prioritise problems? Do you take small problems and blow them into bigger problems. Do you appreciate what you have.
Language of time
Shift problem from present to past
- so this had been a huge problem for you in the past?
Desired state question
- what would you like to have happen instead?
Flesh out the desired state
- how specifically will you make this happen
Number of examples
- his many examples do you need to know that your past problems cannot be a problem again.
Look back at the problem
What read the first step that you took - 2nd, 3rd
Reframing:-
Direct challenge - opposite, counter examples, how do you know
Chunk up - size, time, purpose, goals
Side drift- metaphors, perceptual positions, analogy
Chunk down - specific examples, size, time
Don't progress without agreement
Sleight of mouth
Taking an idea and questioning it from different directions
1. Redefine - what else could this mean
2. Co-existence - include alternative options
3. Reality strategy - How do you know?
4. Metaphor / Analogy - Journey into insight
5. Model fo the world - for whom is this not true?
6. Positive intention - What good might have been intended?
Section 6
Core values
Core value elicitation demonstration 117
Finding out what are your vote values and priorities.
Articulating our thoughts and opinions about our life and how we live it.
Talking about comfort zones and how we are afraid to step out of them because they mean uncertainty. People need certainty and stability. Like women who want commitment. They are looking for security. So certainty, security, stability and comfort zone becomes one and the same.
In the one hand there are people - maybe the same people who are looking for freedom, and excitement. These people will have to take risks. And hope that what they believe comes true. Because risk taking means stepping out of your comfort zone. Walking on the roads of uncertainty, insecurity.
But what will these guys achieve? Fulfillment, growth and excitement. They work with hope and faith. They may achieve significance.
But they will learn for joy and intimacy. Which comes from genuine connections. For this they look for stable and secure relations. In which case they've come a full circle.
patterns and pattern recognition - human beings are used to recognizing patterns.
Tony Robbins in his book "Unlimited Power: New Science of Personal Achievement" talks about Meta Programs that people use to sort out, interpret and make sense of the world they live in.
1) Towards or Away from
2) External or Internal Frame of Reference
3) Sorting By Self or Sorting by Others
4) Matcher or Mismatcher
5) Convincer Strategy
6) Possibility vs. Necessity
7) Independent, Cooperative and Proximity Working Styles
Meta programs can be described as the hard wiring in the brain.
Recognizing how Meta Programs work can help become a master communicator.
Carl Jung identified Meta Programs and they have been used as basis for Myers Briggs MBTI and 16 PF psychometric.
Towards of Away from Meta Program
Away from people people focus mostly on what should be avoided. They react to threats. They are found to be procrastinators and will not be motivated enough until they find that the negative weighs far heavily than the positive. For example weight gain. Until they find that weight gain is giving them problems in their day to day life or has the potential to do so only then will they take action. These guys can be good at troubleshooting and disaster management.
Towards people works towards goals and taking the weight loss / gain example these guys will take up exercising only to look good. These guys are good at visioning good results but may lack planning, set unrealistic goals and are bad at identifying problems.
External and internal frame of reference - Meta Program
External frame of reference means when someone is constantly looking at outside references for satisfaction. A job well done means someone says it is good. Someone like say a boss. Or maybe You get a reward because of the work. Or you've done a better job than X.
For internal frame of reference people, satisfaction comes from within. Only when they are satisfied, then the work is well done.
Sorting by self and sorting by others - Meta Program
You will first consider what are you gaining from any work that you do. And in sorting by others you will want everybody or the other guy to get something out of it also.
Tony Robbins doesn't consider this meta program to be absolute. Or in other words it in not possible for someone to be completely egoistic or to care so much for others that he becomes a martyr.
Matcher and Mis-matcher - Meta Program
A matcher will try to find similarities in people or ideas. A mis-matcher will try to find differences in everything you say or do. There could be mis-matchers who find difference and then try to find similarities.
Convincer Strategy - Meta Program
Find out what sensory building blocs are needed to convince someone and how often they are needed - if he doesn't get convinced in one shot.
Possibility and Necessity - Meta Program
Necessity people are people who buy things out of necessity. They don't believe in showing off. But if things are needed then they will buy the things. Luxury too is optional. Only if showing off is needed to meet certain ends. Their usual stance is to accept what is available. They are not the go getters. Rather they are - I'll do what I have to do.
Possibility people on the other hand will push their limits to find out if it is possible. They do what they want to do. They'll buy the latest phones and overuse their credit limit to do what they want.
Independent, Cooperative and Proximity Working Styles - Meta Program
Some people want to be independent. They don't enjoy people looking over their shoulder or working with other team members.
The cooperative guy wants to be part of the group. They share responsibility.
The proximity guy will want independence, but also wants to be part of team.
Detailed and Global Thinking - Meta Program
Detailed guys want to know every detail of what's going on. In conversations they ask for more information through questions. There is a pssibility that they may not see the bigger picture. These guys can spot small and minor mistakes.
Global guys avoid details. They want to talk about the general scenario. These guys can strategize efffectively and cann generate big ideas.
Proactive and Reactive - Meta Program
Proactive guys are initiators and those who do not wait for others to start something. They are the first movers. They jump into situations. They may actually get completed a job that has been hanging in the air for some reason. They use active verbs and short sentences. Also they cannot sit in one place for a long time. They are good for jobs that need to be done at once. Jobs - sales managers
Reactives wait for others to take the initiative before stepping in. They'll wait for the right situation. They spend a lot of time analyzing. They use passive verbs, long complex sentences and conditionals - would, should, could etc. They can sit in one place for extended periods of times. Jobs: Customer service.
You could communicate to others if you identify their meta programs and also alter your own.
Core Value Evaluation
Self worth or significance could figure highly in someone priorities. They would like to people to believe they are worth their time and money. They are a significant part of their life. When someone doesn't do it then, people move on and block the other person they believe is not giving them worth or significance. Or they may fall over themselves to impress the other person.
Risk averse and stepping out of the comfort zone. People don't want to do that because people are afraid if they do they don't know how or what to do.
Should we prove who we are?
Should we be just authentic to ourselves.
Human Experiential Model
At the center we have the core values.
Then Volitional
Rational
Emotional
Physical
Next - evolutionary process part 1
Humans go through some phases that is the (1) learning phase (2) earning phase (3) legacy phase (4) Golden Phase
learning never stops but early on everyone feels he needs to learn to do many things. hen he goes on to earn from the skills he has learned. He then tries to share his skills with others either by teaching or helping others achieve their own goals.
In the golden years a person is comfortable doing what he is doing and he keeps tweaking his legacy, but he is comfortable doing what he is doing. On the side he is helping people, mentoring them and doing what he feels.
Are you comfortable out of your comfort goals?
The legacy framework
1. Find the legacy framework.
find beliefs, values, processes and strategies
Install and practice
- practice makes permarnent
Design a training
train and coach others
train trainers, coaches and others
are you busy or are you effective - there is also a difference being a person getting things done and being effective.
Don't copy others. Learn from the best - study the hell out of them - and understand and give it your own twist. - This will happen when you actually practice - practice what you preach
don't just tick boxes give value.
In the early 1990's, Gregory Bateson first developed the idea that hierarchies very naturally occur in our thinking, learning and communication processes. Subsequently, Robert Dilts applied some of Bateson's concepts to the development of what he later termed 'Neuro-Logical Levels'
Introducing neuro logical levels
The Environment Level. (where, when and who you do what you do with)
This Neuro-Logical level focuses on the external environment – including where you are, i.e. your current environment, those people you frequently interact with, the society and culture in which you live – and the restrictions these things place upon you.
The Behaviours Level. (what you do and say)
The behaviour Neuro-Logical level concerns itself with how people act and behave within their environment. These things include thinking, reacting, speaking, listening and taking practical action steps towards achieving a specific goal. This behavioural level can also explore what people 'don’t do' as well.
There are some situations you influence by not being part of them too.
The Capabilities Level. (how you do what you do)
The Capabilities Level relates to the skills, abilities, strategies, talents and resources we have (or, believe that we have) that impact our behaviors and probe us to take the courses of actions we take.
At this level we are quite skilled at what we do, because we do them regularly. At the same time we may take our skills for granted.
The Beliefs and Values Level. (what’s most important to you)
What we value and the beliefs we hold about ourselves (and life) influence how we think, behave and act.
If we believe that we are good at something it will show in our attitude and actions
Usually people have limiting beliefs.
The Identity Level. (who you are)
The identity level involves the understanding you have of who you are and also who you are not.
The identity level also explores the roles that you play and in what contexts you play these roles.
You might ask yourself, ‘Who am I as a leader?’ or ‘What kind of leader am I?
Regardless of people's reaction we should be true to the core of who we are.
The Purpose Level. (your highest purpose and calling in life)
This level is about your higher purpose and what you have to offer society and the world at large.
Conditions of the heart
It's funny that Kain Ramsey calls it the conditions of the heart and not the brain. Because that is what the Qur'an calls it too.
4 types of soil
Packed Soil - Stoney Ground - Thorny Ground - Good soil
Packed soil - a person who already has a world view about things and is not really receptive about information and knowledge we pass on to him.
Stoney ground - umm almost same, boulders could be external factors which does not help or actually go against the person to change.
Thorny ground - almost same again bu here the friends or family is discouraging the person to change.
Good soil - the person who is open to new ideas, who wants to change and is willing to be influenced.
Pillars of cultural impact
Family, Education, Government/Politics, The Economy, Religion, Media, Arts and Culture
Opinion is between truth and ignorance
Are you a taker and learner or giver and mentor
